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After drinking one too many R.C. cola’s and eating a couple moonpies, I fell asleep on the couch again. When I awoke from my sugary slumber I realized the lifetime movie I was watching (Why I Wore Lipstick To My Mastectomy) was over and was succeeded by a rerun of Doogie Howser, M.D. Watching the teen doctor Journal on his 1989 Amiga CPU with one eye half open I became envious of a life where I too would sit near the window of my bedroom, wearing nothing but boxers, slouching over my keyboard and writing gossip about the nurses at the hospital. Springing into action I immediately stripped down to nature’s own, fired up the ole’ laptop and pulled up a lawn chair with no back. The only thing that I was missing was a window and a friend named Vinnie. I solved the window problem by taping together some cereal boxes and pieced together a submarine portal decorated with glitter and pipe cleaners. As for the part of my friend Vinnie he will be played by a Care bear® with a hello my name is tag. Dimming the lights to a level suited for a Kenny G concert I started to type what would become a detailed description of my dinner, my current financial situation and a funny anecdote about why nice guys finish last.
The next day at work while on a cigarette/King Dong break I was telling a buddy of mine about my new creative venture and the side effects of too much Vitamin D. He suggested I get with the times about my journaling and start a blog. After several Lycos searches of the word blog I was on my way to joining the millions of people just like me, writing stories, sharing pictures and giving away too much personal information. (I like to wear scarves in the shower) Who knows what may become of this blog, maybe future generations will use it as a window into the life of a common man, like a letter from a Civil War solider to a loved one back in West Virginia. Although I doubt I will be writing about syphilis at the front, or how Jonathan Gregg got his leg amputated at the battle of something something. I will however try to post as many random stories and drawings as possible and help fill cyberspace with more nonsense and less porn…or maybe both!